[31 Jul 2007|01:29am] I feel as if everything is passing by me so fast while I'm in the middle of a four way stop. I forget my days and which occured on what date and my mind feels frazzled and I can't seem to shake the feeling. I feel as if I need to go away and that scares me because that is how I felt in Vancouver.. that time was passing by too fast for my own good. If I get that feeling here, where do I end up? I also feel very annoyed by most people and would much rather hang out with two people than my apparent group of 'friends'. What is a friend because what I think I'm seeing is anything but that. I feel dischared and angry. Uhg. I think I need a good rest. I'm cranky and sore. 00

[24 Jun 2007|07:26pm] monday - Kara, Matt and I went to the beach for some good times and some drinking. we drank some and then Keenan and Derrick showed up and after a while we decided to leave and go to Mcdonalds.. Kara and I got all three things of milkshake in one.. so delicious.. then we went to the movie store and we played in the porn room and rented a movie. we came back to my house for a bit and they left and I went to bed. tuesday - my mom and I went out pretty early so I could find work pants and what not.. after four hours of dicking around, finally got my outfit. I came home and had some dinner and picked Erica up and we went to Kara's house. we walked down to the park and started drinking. more drinking. drink drink drink. we walked all the way to 7/11 and got some candies. drank more. started walking back to Kara's house and ran into some people.. then we decided to take our clothes off but not our undies and bras and walked in boots and undergarments back to her house and slicked our hair back and danced to the Doors for a long time. wednesday - we all woke up, feeling disgusting of course and I had to work! we layed around for a while watching murder stories and laguna and then Erica, my mom and I went out for Subway and I got ready for work. work was awesome. I came home and went out and bought Rae some flowers and a card for her birthday and made an appearance. I didn't feel well so I left around 11 and came home and slept. ( oh my ) 00

because I'm still in love with you on this harvest moon [18 Jun 2007|01:11pm] wednesday - Derrick, Keenan, Matt, and I went to the beach and decided we'd get stoned on the sand hill. half way up, I got scared and then Rae appeared at the bottom of the hill and made her way up. so, what a trek that was and I was almost in tears hahaha because I am a big wuss. we decided we'd smoke weed back down just incase I wouldn't be able to get back down. so after that, we went to Kye Bay and smoked some more weed and then went for a walk. after that we decided we'd go to the skatepark so the boys could skaterboard. after that, we decided to go down back to Matt's house and get some beers. Kelsey showed up after some well needed pot smoking. we went for a walk in this crazy field and sat for a while and then had a hay fight and made our way back to Matt's house. I dropped Rae off at home and then went home.. making a pit stop at Mcdonalds of course. thursday - I got ready and decided I wouldn't go out.. and then I decided I would.. sooo, I did.. and haha well, Sol, Lia and I got some whiskey and went to Condensary to drink on the beach there. after that we got bored and went back to Jared's house and after a while I decided I'd just go to Matt's house and get stoned with him.. so that I did.. and fell asleep soon after. friday - Matt had to work but I decided I needed to sleep so I woke up around 12 and got picked up. we planned on going to the beach. Kara, Erica, and Jeff picked me up around 7. I was informed someone was coming that I didn't really know I wanted to see... so I was nervous and wanted to start drinking ASAP and go to another part of the beach. so we got to the boardwalk but the tide was too high. as we were getting in the car, the other boys showed up and I was pretty nervous again.. we drove to Kye Bay and as soon as we parked, Kara Erica and I went down the beach from them. after probably half an hour.. Derrick came over.. and then soon after, Keenan.. and then soon after that.. everybody.. and I was making it awkward, but at least he made it not awkward and made an effort to talk to me.. after some well needed talking everything was alright. we drove to Highland.. and that was pretty lame so we got a ride back to my house. sleep sleep sleep. saturday - a good morning in a long time. layed around for a while and then decided to get stoned and watch Dodgeball. and then continued to get stoned.. and then so on and so forth. my guest was really tired so he had to take a nap.. a really long two hour nap! haha but thats okay. I went and rented Spryo. after some time, he finally woke up and we got stoned and played Spyro.. and then got stoned allll night hahahaha. then fell asleep on the couch in a really awkward way for me but apparently 'so comfortable' for him. hahah yeah right! sunday - I woke up at around 12 which was ridiculous. I slept in way too late.. and then we were going to get stoned but I forgot I had a job interview so I had to hold out. I got ready and got wished good luck and I was on my way. the interview went really well and she hired me right on the spot. I came home and was so excited and my guest seemed happy that I was happy so that's good. after a while of tv watching I dropped him off at home and went and got some groceries and saw Kara haha and had a nice little chit chat. I came home all excited and told Matt we had to celebrate my new job. he came over and we drank beers and listened to music. we got stoned with my mom (my mom doesn't get high ever ever) and at 1:30 in the morning we went and got some nachoes and other things from 7/11. monday - so now I'm waiting for my laundry to be done so I can get ready. I am now employed by Quality Foods, making 10$ an hour, have the best shifts, and I give out samples. woo woo! I'm also excited because Kara and I and some of our friends are going to beach it! everything is GREAT. I'm also very excited for this summer and all it holds. 00

I am always busy [12 Jun 2007|09:48am] good morning! hahaha oh my! soooo.. I guess I'll start with last weekend.. friday - Kara and Erica picked me up around 7 oclock and we made our way over to Jeff's house, and then to Safeway to meet up with Keenan and Derrick.. we headed out to Wolf Lake, and realized all of our spots had been taken so after some frustration and yelling we decided to go all the way to Derrick's house since his parents were out of town for the weekend. so we started drinking and then decided to take our boozing to the trapeze. soo much fun! we had a HUGE fire and ended up burning all of the chairs and dancing around the fire in our underwear. Kara, Sam and I had this brilliant plan we'd go skinny dipping but we didn't end up doing that.. but we did all go back to Derrick's house and Erica, Kara, Jeff and I all went streaking and came back to find our clothes gone!!!! haha, I was looking all over for my dress and then Derrick started laughing and pointed to Jeff, and to my suprise.. he was wearing my dress. then we had another brilliant plan to have an orgy but everyone fell asleep except for Kara and I.. after some drama, it was time to call it a night. saturday - I was woken up by Keenan and Derrick with the plan to make some breakfast. so after breakfast we got baked and went for a trek into the forest and then to the net. after some play time we decided to go back to Derrick's and smoke more weed and watch South Park. the three of us ended up falling asleep and being woken up by Matt and Kara. after almost crapping out, we all dropped some acid and waited around. we went for a walk to the market for smokes and ended up walking out onto this really neat little thing.. after getting bored of that we decided to go to the net. after a while there we decided it would be awesome to go back to Derrick's house and paint eachother with finger paints. his neighbours came home and were just staring at us so we decided it would be best to go sytrofoam rafting across fanny bay. by this time it was sooo hot out that kara and I didn't want to wear our boots and just go swimming.. so here we are, walking through the forest with no shoes or socks on convincing ourselves a big snake was chasing us through the grass. we got the raft thing afloat and all hopped on with 2x4s as paddles. all we could do was laugh and just have the best time. by this time, we are all soaking wet and sooo dirty and colorful. there were kyakers in the water too just howling at us. our destination was the other side (the island) and when we finally got there we only spent so long on it and decided to boat to the mill and walk the booms.. TERRIBLE HORRIFYING IDEA! hahaha.. K and I ended up jumping off and walking up on shore. after a dirty gross walk we got back to Derrick's and cleaned up.. hahahaha Keenan gave K and I really trashy cut off beer shirts and we looked prettty badass. Kara ended up leaving so Keenan, Matt, Derrick and I decided to get baked and then get drunk. by the time we got our shit together and started driving, we realized we'd miss the liqour store so we drove back to Derrick's and decided we'd go for a walk.. which was the most terrifying thing I've ever done and we thought we were encountering a cougar and I couldn't see barely anything!! we came back to Derrick's and watched some of a movie and just retired to bed. ( Uhh, longest entry ever ) 4 . 00

[05 Jun 2007|04:46pm] Okay, so I don't hate anybody.. But the whole truth is, I'm still recovering from a broken heart - and it's affecting everyone around me. Just when I think that I moved on too quickly, I realize that maybe I haven't moved forward very much, at all. I'm sorry. I know that I'm frustrating. Starting over is a slower process than I imagined. I can't quite keep my balance. 00

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